Chapter 9

 

CHAPTER 9

THE GOD WHO SMILES

MHE – PAGE 226

Hat Bunny:

Hey.

We forgot to tell her earlier.

MHE – PAGE 227

Ulrich:

We died didn’t we. . ?

We’re dead. I’m dead.

Hat Bunny:

It’s an instrument.

It’s a whistle.

Make sure you tell her, you’ll need it.

Ulrich:

Herrgott, just leave me alone. Right thing, wrong thing, I’m useless anyway. Their faith was misplaced. I’m tired of letting people down.

This is hell and it’s where I belong. I can’t be a disappointment here, at least.

Can’t I sleep now? Please?

Hat Bunny:

‘Fraid not, pal

There’s work to do.

And don’t kid yourself.

This ain’t hell.

You can still feel the sun, can’t you?

Ulrich:
Phineas? You’re-?

Phineas:
Are you alright?

MHE – PAGE 228

Ulrich:
F. . . I’m fine. Fine.

Phineas:
Good.

Ulrich:
Ph-Phineas-

Phineas:
You wanna see something neat?

MHE – PAGE 229

(No dialogue)

MHE – PAGE 230

Gideon:

This is important, so I’m gonna break it down real simple.

Tangible imagery helps. You could think of it like. . .

Energy’s like water.

It’s this flow that’s way, WAY bigger’n you are, and you’re getting all caught up.

You work together, sync up your rhythms. You don’t subdue the sea, you just steer your ship.

You’re borrowing the momentum of the universe to help yourself.

MHE – PAGE 231

Gideon:

Don’t let it push you around, but respect it too, you know?

The whole reason you can do this at ALL is because you and it are made of the same stuff.

You gotta remember you’re just a tiny little piece, but the entire structure is made of tiny pieces exactly like you.

You’re a drop in the ocean and the god who made the ocean all at the same time.

By using your opponent’s energy against them and adding it to your own, you shift between these different states.

Commanding is a perfect understanding of your place in the universe.

But it’s also a furious dispute of that place.

Because you can see that the sun is only sawdust, and your bones hold as much potential as the brightest galaxies.

You’re nothing but you’re meant for everything.

MHE – PAGE 232

Gideon:

I’m not just being poetic. A commander has to fragment themself to exist in all the planes necessary to command.

Your head, your heart, and your hands are all their own pieces now.

The bonds that hold those things together were burned up when you got that scar on your back.

Your mind is what directs your will.

Your soul is the energy that powers that will.

Your body is the physical manifestation of your will in the world.

And the part of you that channels other energies.

Unbound, each part of you is stronger. But now you have to work, constantly, to hold yourself together.

It’s going to hurt.

That’s where the stigma comes from, people think we’re monsters who traded our souls away. Turned them into weapons.

But that’s ALL wrong.

All wrong.

MHE – PAGE 233

Gideon:

It’s so backwards, right?

How could you lack empathy when you’re so sensitive to your heart’s, any heart’s rhythm-

How could they think I feel things less deeply, when I can recognize my lover only by the pattern of their pulse?

We’re more aware of the shape of our souls than they’ll ever be.

And we’re truer to that shape too. We have to be.

Even though they’re moving separately, all three pieces gotta be lined up exactly for other energy to flow through.

You have to be totally committed, a thousand percent, on every level of your being to this thing you’re after.

That’s your tether, it’s the core the rest of you revolves around.

You become the contradiction yourself.

You are your ambitions given form.

MHE – PAGE 234

Tain:

!!!

Gideon:

After you get this part down, though, everything else is easy. It’s just orders of magnitude, is all.

You can do anything you want to.

You can bend without breaking, you can give yourself over entirely to this force infinitely bigger than you without losing yourself inside it.

You know you’re human but believe yourself god.

You hold it tightly enough to let it slip through your fingers.

MHE – PAGE 235

Gideon:

The price of autonomy is personal responsibility.

If no god commands you then every failure is your own fault.

Running full tilt means there’s no room for error.

Taking your eyes off the goal, any doubt will divert all that momentum and drive you straight into the ground.

Your faith’s gotta be unshakable.

Ulrich:

—— —- – – – —– –

!!!!!!

Gideon:

But that’s not hard.

Ulrich:
!!

Gideon:

You also know you have the power to make yourself.

The shadow is only as long as its light is bright.

If we create our own darkness,

We can beat it!

Every time.

There’s a euphoria equal to the abyss.

Yeah?

MHE – PAGE 236

Tain:

!!!!

Gideon:

You are exactly as strong as your worst fears, even stronger because you carry them.

With faith like that

We can’t lose.

Phineas:
(h.. Hee hee)

MHE – PAGE 237

Ulrich:
(Euuugh)

You lunatic.

Phineas:
(HEE! HEE! HEE! HEE!)

Ulrich:
Would you mind warning me next time you’re-

Phineas:
(Pffhaha ha ha!)

Ulrich:
What’s funny?

Is it over? Are we done?

(Where is my hat?)

Phineas:
(HEEHEE!)

What?

DONE?

Look at me! Look what I DID!

Ulrich:
Yes, I was there. I don’t know what YOU think that was. . .

But what I saw was not good. You hurt yourself more than they did.

If I hadn’t stopped you you would have

Phineas:

NO

NO you have NO IDEA what this is like!!

We could do SO MUCH.

We could

What if we just-

What if I just. . .

. . . kept it?

MHE – PAGE 238

Starstone:

Oh, and you were doing so well.

What a shame.

Ulrich:
Ah, here we are.

Listen, I know. . .

. . . I’m still missing a few of the finer details,

But we. . . I need you to explain this technique to me a little more. I’m not understanding.

This can’t be sustainable. Strength in exchange for your sense is a useless gain.

I. . .

Are you alright?

Tain-eas:

I feel so

(ALIVE)

Ulrich:
. . . Phineas look at me.

Tain-eas:

You want

A lesson in commanding?

MHE – PAGE 239

CARD:
THE TAIN

Endless, elder

Black sun in scarlet sky

Tain-eas:
(HEE)

Ulrich:

Shit

Tain-eas:
Here’s one for you.

Haha! Fool us once!

That ain’t gonna work this time!

MHE – PAGE 240

Tain-eas:

(WHAT?!)

Ulrich:
Hm.

Well! Now that THAT’S taken care of, I’d like to. . .

MHE – PAGE 241

Ulrich:

(!)

(. . . Those marks. . . )

(Those marks on her hands, on her back-)

(It’s not a target,)

(They’re not suns-)

(They’re)

(EYES)

Tain-eas:

(Ha ha ha ha!)

Oooh yessss!

And if the eyes are windows to the soul – !

Ulrich:

The’re doors!

Tain-eas:

Clever boy!

You’re comin’ in loud and clear, by the by.

That mask won’t do you a lick of good with us.

Ulrich:

I’m. . . not speaking with Phineas Kidd, am I?

Tain-eas:

Phineas has stepped out.

MHE – PAGE 242

Tain-eas:

For now, and for the foreseeable future, it’ll just be us, Ulrich.

Lucky for you our commander here got kinda sloppy.

Your gamble that excess star energy lingered on you when you and Phineas touched paid off.

But you know it’s not gonna last, and you have no tricks left to save you once it’s gone.

And thenn~

We’re going to tear those keen eyes right out of your head,

We’re gonna rip that tricky tricky voice out through your throat and add it to ours.

We’re gonna take you for everything you got and there’s not a god damn thing you can do to stop us.

Ulrich:

Right, so, I am addressing the monster currently. For sure.

Tain-eas:

Oh, you wound us.

Ulrich:

Let’s take this opportunity to chat before you render me speechless, hmm?

Tain-eas:
Tryin’ to find an advantage uhu, keep us talking? Don’t matter much at this point.

But hey! Why not! We’re just waiting on that shield to fizzle out. Whatcha wanna say?

Ulrich:

First.

I do not appreciate the way you manipulated me earlier.

Tain-eas:

That fear was allll you smart guy.

MHE – PAGE 243

Tain-eas:

We’re voidstuff, the universe’s clean-up crew. For every star crankin’ out energy we’re eatin’ it back up, somewhere.

We only take, we can’t give. Anything you felt was already inside you before we showed up, we just. . . pulled your curtain back some.

Oh, the Cheshire cat’s so afraid. . .

Ulrich:

(Cheshire??)

Tain-eas:

Of so many many things. . .

We could feed off your tension for a long time.

Mmmmmmbut fear is an unrefined emotion, it needs a catalyst before it turns to anything, mm – ! Tasty.

And oh!

Oh you’re not nearly as afraid as SHE is GREEDY!

Commanders just have so much more MEAT on them!

The avarice, the rage in this one’s heart writhes, it aches into the horizon like a blazing sea, it just keeps going.

She is ALIVE!

She WANTS!

We’ve never SEEN a human with such furious light! Nobody orders around a star the way she just did.

And she knows it! She knows it’s pointless to fight what she is so she USES it instead. She’s a powerhouse all on her own!

But losing the handle on it’s easy to do and hard to fix! Once she let go of herself in favor of something else, well THIS was to be expected.

She stuck her head out the door, all we had to do was nudge her a little bit, hahaha!

Yesss, these remains should be more than enough to allow us to take our place under the sun.

Finally.

Finally.

MHE – PAGE 244

Ulrich:

Remains.

Tain-eas:

Mmmher body’s given’ us an anchor here, her spirit’s just channeling power for us now. Battery and conduit.

Batteries don’t need to think. We took the light and trashed the rest.

She’s toast. Rough luck, buddy.

Ulrich:

I don’t buy that for a second.

Tain-eas:

No?

Ulrich:
I think we both know Phineas wouldn’t go so quietly.

Tain-eas:
Do we?

Do we know that?

Well!

We’ve been getting flashes from you here and there, but you’ve made us curious.

You’re awful calm. We wanna know what you’re hiding.

Let’s find out what we both know.

Let’s reeeeally get to know you, Ulrich Weiss.

Ulrich:

I’d prefer not-

. . . !

Tain-eas:

Hoooo boy, when was the last time you cleaned this place out? You’ve got all kinds of old traps built up in here.

This would hurt a lot less if you’d cooperate.

MHE – PAGE 245

Tain-eas:

Same outcome either way.

We got us a real good picture now.

Ulrich:

Hah-

What the FUCK did you-

Tain-eas:

God DAMN! And WHAT a picture it is!

We’ve been around a LONG time, We’ve seen a lotta things!

We gotta say, kid, this setup you’ve got goin’ here? It’s POETRY, You’re an ARTIST, you’re a GENIUS!

Man! No WONDER you’re so slick! You’ve been practicing.

You haven’t stopped playing a part in years. Is there even a person in there anymore?

We had you all wrong! We thought you wanted to save her so SHE could save YOU, but you’re no COWARD.

You’re a TACTICIAN!

You’re playing chess and she’s your queen.

You can’t AFFORD to lose her!

Ulrich:
. . . That’s right.

Tain-eas:

This game’s put you through the wringer, too.

What a pisser, dying such a useless death after coming all that way.

What would your mistress think if she saw you now?

You’re not much of a knight.

Ulrich:
Ach

Yes, well.

She’s not much of a mistress, either.

MHE – PAGE 246

Tain-eas:

You’re running out of tiiiime, Cheshire~!

And your plan stinks.

We know. We checked.

Ulrich:

I dispelled you once, e-earlier, I can

Tain-eas:

Naah hold on

Let’s stop you right there.

THAT little misstep had NOTHING to do with you. Wanna know what that was?

Compared to Phineas? YOU’RE so insignificant we didn’t even notice you were THERE.

You surprised us. That’s all

We’ll give it to ya, smooth operator.

Your words are sharp, you have conviction. But you got about as much spiritual clout as the rubber in your shoes.

A worm with conviction tramples the same either way. You can’t touch us.

Ulrich:

. . . I dont need to.

Alright Phineas.

I’m biting, hear me? I believe you. I’ll play.

You said I’m a beacon, I’m a break in the static.

Blue stuff, crazy stuff. So you command, so it must be, you insane son of a bitch.

Tain-eas:

Desperate’s an ugly color on you.

MHE – PAGE 247

Ulrich:

It’s true I’m not one for ethereal matters. But you said intent is powerful, words are powerful.

And those are weapons I CAN work with. That’s a fight I can always win.

I know you’re still in there.

Wherever you are, it’s time to come back.

Wake up.

Tain-eas:

We told you, there’s nothing to wake.

Ulrich:

I’ll stay right here, if this is all I can do then I’ll keep casting this out until you can get back. We’re leaving together.

Tain-eas:

You gonna shoot your friend now?

Ulrich:
This is nothing, sunshine. I watched you come back from the dead just now. You demanded beats from your heart and destroyed this thing once already!

Tain-eas:
Ohhh, we get it.

You’re throwin’ a fit cause someone ELSE is playing with your TOY!

Ulrich:
Ahm

Phineas-

Tain-eas:
I saw everything in HER head TOO you know.

You got alllll these big plans for Phin here, you know what SHE thought of YOU?

Ulrich:
WAKE UP.

Tain-eas:
She trusted you, completely. She’dve died for you. We don’t know what she saw in you-

We don’t think she understood why, she just knew.

This girl, this cosmic force INFINITELY more important than you,

She believed in you.

Ulrich:

. . .

MHE – PAGE 248

Tain-eas:
You can’t BUY that kind of loyalty! You won the lottery!

EMPIRES have gone under trying to gain capricious stars’ love! And YOU-

You were gonna throw it RIGHT back in her face!

It would tear her apart, hee! We’re doing you a favor killing you ourselves.

Cause think, clever boy, commanders don’t ever just roll over and die

Hehe, what would be left for her to do. . .

But turn all that hurt back on YOU.

Ulrich:

(-!)

Tain-eas:
Oh, a shift? You’re pleased?

Ulrich:

Why wouldn’t I be?

My plans are all coming along smoothly.

Tain-eas:

Oh, that’s cold!

Ulrich:

Warmth is not good business.

And you’re in the unique position of knowing exactly how far I’m willing to go to ensure my business is good.

Tain-eas:

Mmyesss~

That we are! And you called US monsters.

At least-

MHE – PAGE 249

Tain-eas:

(YAY!)

Really?

Ulrich:

W-we don’t-

Wait-

Tain-eas:
Aw we KNOW that ain’t all the fight you got in you boy!

STAND UP!!

Ulrich:

GH!

MHE – PAGE 250

Tain-eas:

There we go, hey! Lookit you!

Give us another, this commanding stuff feels GREAT.

Ulrich:

Phineas please we’re out of time!

Tain-eas:
Ahh, man, you’re such a killjoy.

Whatever!

If you reeeeally don’t wanna play anymore. . .

We can go ahead an’ wrap this up.

Ulrich:

C. . . can’t-

I can’t – !

It- it’s a trick!

IT’S NOT REAL.

Tain-eas:
Hahaha, “A” for effort, kiddo.

But don’t worry, you’ll do better with us anyway.

You were never s’posed to be one of the good guys.

MHE – PAGE 251

Tain-eas:

Just need one last thing before you’re dismissed.

Ulrich:

. . .

Tain-eas:

Closing statement? While you still got the equipment?

Ulrich:
. . . Most of my forward teeth are porcelain.

My real teeth had to be surgically extracted from the right hand of the woman who beat them out of me.

The wound infected, the blight took her ring finger.

While I am known for my smile.

Tain-eas:
Yeah, we know. So?

Ulrich:

You do.

You’ve seen everything there is of me.

You’ve seen all of Phineas.

And still you underestimate us both.

You are offensively stupid.

My friend is on her way. She is going to kill you.

That is a fact, regardless of what state I am in when she arrives.

Tain-eas:

We almost think you believe that.

Ulrich:

(GH!!)

Tain-eas:
Easy big guy.

Ooh

It stings.

Never caught a false teller before.

Feels. . . artificial, kinda.

MHE – PAGE 252

Tain-eas:
Well, even YOUR stunted excuse for a spirit isn’t worthless.

We’ll find some use for you.

Phineas:
. . .

. . .

Tain-eas:

Good chatting with you Ulrich!

Phineas:
. . . Mine. . .

Tain-eas:

But we’re. . .

. . . Uh?

. . . What?

What are you looking at?

Phineas:
Mine

Tain-eas:
!!

Phineas:

MINE

MINE

MHE – PAGE 253

Tain-eas:

S. . . SUNLIGHT??

HOW?!

Phineas:
YOU WANT

TO PLAY

GOD?!

Mana:

. . .It’s alright to look.

You can’t go blind again.

Speaking of that everything taken from you will be restored shortly

Not that your abilities aren’t attractive if we’re honest

But we’re not interested in stealing the skills from other humans

You’ll put them to better use that we could anyway

MHE – PAGE 254

Mana:

She won’t remember most of this. What either of you have done here.

I will. I’ll know it so maybe she’ll feel it too. Somehow. The way she feels things.

But you were very brave.

Very loyal. Even if it’s not Phineas you’re loyal to.

You’ve done so well.

Your cause is noble. There is fortune in your footsteps.

I’d like to see where they will lead left uninhibited.

Stay your course. Your secrets will be safe with me.

I’m going to wake her.

Hopefully you and I won’t have a chance to speak again soon.

I hope things go well for you, Ulrich.

Thanks for coming back for us.

(Good luck)

MHE – PAGE 255

Phineas:

(Hee! Hee! Hee!)

Hey! That was fun huh?

Doin’ okay?

Aw come on, what’s that look for?

-!

Eum. . .

H-hang on-!

Oh gross

MHE – PAGE 256

Ulrich:

. . .

Uh.

Phineas:

Eugh. . .

Ulrich:

I need a drink.

Tain:

Please

Phineas & Ulrich:
!!!

Tain:

Mercy

We did not recognize you

Star Astray

We did not know

We saw

Mercy

In you

We saw

Light

Here it is so cold

Please

Don’t leave us to the dark

Commander

Take us with you

To the sun

MHE – PAGE 257

Phineas:

. . .

You know what?

Ulrich:

Phineas

Phineas:

I know you’re watching.

Fight’s over.

We won.

Get your trash.

Tain:

(NO! NO!!)

SELFISH HUMAN!!!

You wield salvation yet you condemn us to hell!!

WHERE IS YOUR COMPASSION?!

Phineas:
You don’t deserve it.

Tain:

How easily you cast judgement!!

How does it feel?!

MHE – PAGE 258

Phineas:

We know you Phineas Kidd!

We know things you won’t admit even to yourself! You can’t hide your fear from us!

Let us reassure you-!

(YOU WILL MAKE)

(A WONDERFUL GOD!!)

(HA HA HA HA…)

Phineas:
Phew!

Well that was different!

Hahaha

MHE – PAGE 259

Phineas:

. . . Okay, what?

What’s wrong?

What’s that look for?

Listen, those things really aren’t worth

Ulrich:

What’s the last thing you remember?

Phineas:

Remember?

I was talking to the uh. Stone, we needed its help.

I was really cool right?? I never got to do anything like that before!

Ha

What-what else is there?

Ulrich:

. . .

You were. . . possessed, you. . .

Took things, from me.

I couldn’t see, I couldn’t. . . speak. . .

Phineas:

Wait. . . Huh?

U-Ulrich what do you mean

Ulrich:
Don’t.

I said don’t!

Phineas:

O-okay, I’m sorry.

Ulrich:

Please don’t. Not right now.

It isn’t you, it just-it makes me nervous.

Phineas:
Ulrich what did I do?

Ulrich:
It wasn’t

It wasn’t you.

It wasn’t you.

MHE – PAGE 260

Phineas:

It was though! I messed up!

I w-wasn’t strong enough, I thought I could handle it and you got hurt.

Ulrich:
I’ll take the sudden hysteria to mean you’re back to normal, at least.

Phineas:
THIS IS BAD!

I’m serious!

This can’t happen! I could have killed you!

Ulrich:
Well you didn’t.

Relax.

Phineas:

Ulrich I’m so sorryI would never

Ulrich:

Yes I know.

Phineas:
That looked really bad probably but you have to understand these are god…things, they don’t-

You CAN’T

Ulrich:

Calm down.

Phineas:
But I don’t want you to be s. . . think I’m. . . I’m not-

Ulrich:

What, the same?

A monster? A demon?

There are times for mercy and this was not one of them. That would have been stupid.

When I said your name earlier I thought I would need to convince you of that.

But you surprised me.

It looks to become a trend.

Despite how plainly your emotions read across your face I still can’t make any sense of you.

You may well be a demon. I have no idea, to be frank.

It isn’t worth fixating on. But I do know. . .

When you were. Even when you weren’t really there, you were. . . you saved me?

MHE – PAGE 261

Ulrich:

You were talking about power, just before they got you. You sounded strange, but.

You used “we.”

Something was. . . Tampering with your head, and you were still thinking of us both.

Phineas:
O-of course I was.

That’s what

Ulrich:

Yes! You keep saying that

“We’re friends”

“We’re a team” you think we’re this. . .

This thing but we’re-

My god what is wrong with you? We met YESTERDAY!

I have treated you like shit from the moment I saw you!

I SHOT you and somehow, not two hours later, I’ve bandaged you up and you’re sleeping on my couch?

Now you’re worried I’m going to think badly of YOU??

This is not how I operate. I am not sure this is how ANYONE operates.

You’ve been giving me the benefit of the doubt all this time and I’ve done nothing to deserve it.

It’s infuriating!

Phineas:
Ulrich you don’t have to

Ulrich:
Shut up!

I’m not finished.

I could. . .

Ahm-

I could stand to extend you the same courtesy, perhaps.

MHE – PAGE 262

Phineas:
You scare the hell out of me, Phineas.

I have no idea how to begin to deal with you, with any of this.

The spiritual philosophies I’ve held for my entire life have been violently rewritten in the space of a few hours. I’m doing my best to accommodate.

Still. Whatever you are, we do appear to be on the same side.

I would like to keep it that way, if your offer is still valid.

If you. . . If you say there are good reasons for the decisions you’re making then I believe you.

If you say you will catch the sun then I have to believe that too. I’ve never bought into any of those stories. . .

But if it IS possible, I think you’ll be the one to do it.

If that’s where you’re going then by your side seems like a good place to be standing.

(. . . If. . . If you still. . . )

Phineas:
(Ehh)

Ulrich:

Oh good god please don’t cry

I don’t have it in me to be comforting right now.

Phineas:
O-okay.

‘Kay.

Ulrich:

Right.

Ready to go, then?

MHE – PAGE 263

Phineas:
Haha

I’ve BEEN ready, man.

Just was waiting on you.

Ulrich:

Guilty speeches aside, I am going to need some context when it becomes convenient.

I’m having trouble understanding. . .

Why would you do this to yourself?

From what I gather, commanding takes a lot while returning little.

Phineas:
Mmm. . . Nah, I’d say it’s an even trade.

Did you try to fight the shadows on your own while I was down?

Ulrich:

. . . Sort of.

Phineas:
How’d that work out?

Ulrich:
It didn’t.

Phineas:

What did it feel like?

Ulrich:

. . . .

Phineas:
Commanding means I don’t have to feel that way. I can always DO something, I can always fight back.

Isn’t that worth a little compromise?

Ulrich:

. . . I see.

Yes, actually.

I can get on board with that.

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